Eye Contact With Babies: What, When, Why, and How

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When I look at the statistics Blogspot gives me, I see that day after day, large numbers of people end up at this blog when they Google questions about babies and eye contact. Parents are obviously worried about this issue, and that fact is confirmed by the existence of quite a few websites that give instructions about how to get your child to make eye contact more often. But what are the facts about all this? Can you get your child to increase eye contact? Do you need to? Why are we concerned about this matter at all?

What is eye contact? The term “eye contact” might be better replaced by “mutual gaze”, because of course there is no real “contact” about this common human action. In mutual gaze, two people’s faces and eyes are aligned so that each set of eyes is gazing at the other set. This is often very brief, although it can also be maintained for seconds at a time. Mutual gaze may also be performed in a sequence of episodes, for example as two friends approach each other, joining and breaking gaze along the way, stop and briefly engage in mutual gaze, and finally avert their gazes slightly while talking. Prolonged mutual gaze may indicate deep emotional involvement-- but it can be either a loving look or a hostile or frightened stare, depending on the context and the rest of the facial expression. Mutual gaze has a terrific communicative power for human beings, but it can have more than one meaning.

When does eye contact happen? From birth, babies are interested in looking at faces and especially eyes, and do this so carefully that they can and do accurately imitate facial expressions in the early days of life. Nevertheless, most new parents find that it is quite difficult to get a sense of mutual gaze until some weeks have passed. At about 4 to 6 weeks, as babies begin to do what used to be called “taking notice”, they start to look more responsively at people who are looking at them-- especially if the adult does something attention-getting like opening eyes and mouth wide and “looming” closer to the baby’s face. Soon, the baby smiles in response to a smile, and maintains a mutual gaze with a friendly adult (familiar or unfamiliar). If the adult looks blank or “stares through” the baby, though, the latter will avert the gaze, appear uncomfortable, and begin to cry. The baby expects the adult to “manage” his or her gaze in a way that coordinates with the baby’s gaze.

By about 6 months, babies begin to look toward an adult’s face and eyes for “social referencing” purposes, not for eye contact in and of itself, but to get information from the facial expression and the direction of the adult’s gaze. This information guides the baby in understanding the environment and knowing whether unfamiliar things are worrisome, neutral, or pleasant. The baby continues to pay attention to the direction of people’s gazes and between 9 and 12 months begins to show “joint attention”-- using the gaze as a “pointer” to show someone else where to look, and following another person’s gaze to see an interesting sight. These are not examples of mutual gaze, but they are other forms of communication that may emerge from mutual gaze.

It can be hard for an inexperienced parent to know whether a baby makes eye contact soon enough, long enough, or often enough. Anyone who expects prolonged mutual gaze many times a day from the time of birth is bound to be disappointed and frightened. The earliest eye contact events are fleeting, and even at 2 months the baby may not pay much attention without a good deal of adult effort. Mutual gaze during breastfeeding is not likely until the child is old enough to pause in sucking and look around, or let go the nipple temporarily and move the head-- perhaps 5 or 6 months of age.

Why is eye contact important? Mutual gaze is an important form of communication that conveys information both to the baby (“hey, people are quite interesting and pleasing”) and to the adult caregiver (“oh, my baby’s looking at me-- this feels so good-- he thinks I’m important and interesting”). It may be the foundation of other uses of gaze and other gestures for communication.

Looking at whether young children engage in mutual gaze can be a helpful way of understanding whether their development is typical or whether they have certain special needs. One of the best-known aspects of autism is the infrequency of eye contact. Individuals with Asperger’s syndrome, a disorder related to autism, may say that they dislike being looked at and find mutual gaze very uncomfortable. Persons with Fragile X syndrome are also known for their poor use of the gaze in social communication.

When people avoid looking at other’s eyes, or when they are simply inattentive to gaze information, they can miss much other information too. If an adult uses a word a child does not know, for instance, the child can often make a good guess by watching the adult’s gaze, to see what he or she is looking at. When a child also has poor language development, as is common in autism, the combination of underdeveloped language and of lack of gaze communication can make for serious difficulties, the appearance of deliberate noncompliance, and frustration for both child and adult. These facts all suggest that if a child is really not using mutual gaze or other gaze information, helping him or her gain those skills would be a valuable achievement.

However, it’s important to realize that increasing mutual gaze is not a way of increasing the child’s emotional attachment. Toddlers are more likely to engage in mutual gaze with people they are attached to, but increasing gaze episodes does not make them attached. Blind children become strongly attached to their familiar caregivers just as sighted children do; attachment is a very robust developmental phenomenon that involves hearing and touch as much as, or instead of, sight. Mutual gaze may have its strongest effect on adults, who are much influenced by the child’s gaze and feel a sense of emotional contact when exchanging gazes, so it’s possible that increasing mutual gaze can have an indirect effect on children through its influence on their caregivers. However, of course, blind parents also have strong emotional involvements with their children; they too can use other sources of communication to develop these intense relationships.

How to increase mutual gaze? I notice on several websites a variety of instructions for improving eye contact with children. These include wearing funny glasses (something like this was suggested by Nikolaas Tinbergen 40 years ago), playing games based on prolonging eye contact, and giving the child sweets while maintaining mutual gaze.

Whether these methods are a good idea depends in part on whether the child really does show too little eye contact for his age and situation. This is a point on which most parents need professional guidance. If the parent’s motivation comes from the belief that more eye contact would cause better attachment, and especially if the parent believes the child is poorly attached because he or she is disobedient, there is certainly little point in doing any of these things.

However, if the child is being treated for a developmental problem that is characterized by poor mutual gaze, the parent may already have received some training in rewarding eye contact or may at least be aware of how the behavior therapist works with this. An article that describes one method is to be found at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2649838/ (Hall, S.S., Maynes, N.P., & Reiss, A.L. [2009]. Using percentile schedules to increase eye contact in children with Fragile X syndrome. Journal of Applied Behavior Analysis, 42, 171-176). Similar work can be done at home, but it needs to be carefully thought out beforehand.

**** Readers, if you accessed this post in a search for current work on eye contact and autism, please look at my post for Nov. 7, 2013, which discusses the Nature article by Warren Jones and Ami Klin.****


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