I have more to tell about “Eve Innocenti”, the
mother whose struggles for contact with her children I discussed at http://childmyths.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-attachment-therapist-wears-two-hats.html
and elsewhere. I think now I should have named her “Josefine K.”, because her
situation is becoming more and more reminiscent of The Trial, with its unstated accusations, empty courtroom, and
efforts to make the protagonist punish himself.
As some readers will remember, Eve had two sons
while living in Colorado. The boys had different fathers, but only one of the
fathers was in the picture, and he and a new partner offered occasional care to
both boys. Several years ago, Eve left the children with that couple while
traveling-- and when she returned found
that they refused to let her take the boys home. (Note, by the way, that while
the older boy was the son of the man caring for him, the younger boy was not biologically related to
either of the caregivers.) Eve remained in the state of Colorado for some time,
during which period she sought legal and judicial help that would allow her
contact with her children, and preferably physical custody-- but without much success.
Eve married and moved out of the state with her new
husband. She continued to try to work with Colorado authorities and found that
she was being accused of having neglected and abused the boys earlier. She was
assigned an attorney to represent her interests, but found and still finds that
this person does not return calls nor apprise her of court dates. Meanwhile,
the children’s “stepmother” (not legally, but for all practical purposes)
enlisted the help of a local practitioner of Attachment Therapy, who began to
serve not only as the children’s therapist but as an evaluator communicating
with the court—an ethically questionable combination.
In Attachment Therapy, a stated goal is to remove
attachment to a previous caregiver, and to establish attachment to a new adult.
The tenets of AT suggest that this is to be accomplished in part by requiring a
child to agree with and repeat statements about the abusive or neglectful
treatment of the early caregiver, and to express rage against that person as instructed.
Through this procedure, any child cooperating with AT will say that a caregiver
was abusive. Statements made in this way by Eve’s children were the apparent
source of abuse accusations against her—the accusations that are being used as
an argument in favor of preventing her from having contact with the children,
and eventually of terminating her parental rights. (Eve has never been told
what the accusations against her actually are, so she cannot defend herself;
instead of telling her, Colorado authorities suggested that she make a list of
all the bad things she had done, and they would check those against what the
boys were reported to have said.)
Paradoxically, when AT practitioners wish to foster
an attachment between a child and a new caregiver, one of their tools is to
separate an uncooperative child from the current caregiver and to send him or
her to “respite care”, where treatment is austere and minimally enjoyable. This
treatment has been used with Eve’s older son, in contradiction to the conventional
view that attachment is encouraged by increased pleasurable social interaction
with an adult caregiver. He apparently disliked this treatment very much.
A month or so ago, Eve came to the conclusion that
for her own sake and that of the children, since the termination of her
parental rights seemed to be unavoidable, she might do well to relinquish her rights.
This action would make the children both adoptable by their stepmother, and
enable the father of the older boy able to adopt the younger one. Eve and her
husband have spent all their savings, but their income is too large to make
them eligible for legal aid, and without counsel they have no idea how to
pursue the matter any farther.
Relinquishment could reduce the difficulties the children are presently
going through, Eve thought.
But no! A telephone call from the Colorado
authorities has advised Eve that she cannot relinquish. To do so, she would
have to be available for counseling about relinquishment, and as she lives in a
different state, this is not possible. The children’s caseworker has said that
it is only a matter of time until her parental rights are terminated, in any
case. In addition to its Kafkaesque features, this makes the case take on aspects
of the judgment of Solomon-- if Solomon
had said, “All right, this mother gives up, but let’s cut the child in half
anyway”, but instead of cutting, subjected the child to abusive practices
labeled as psychotherapy.
What does the law actually say about this situation?
According to S.N. Katz’s book Family Law
in America (Oxford University Press, 2011), “Federal guidelines [the Adoption
and Safe Families Act of 1997] mandate that a state make reasonable efforts to prevent
the removal of children from their families except in the most aggravated
circumstances of abuse. The goal is to insure that parental rights are respected,
on the one hand, and the best interest of the child is served, on the other.”
The law [Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act,
amended 1996] also requires that in child protection proceedings the child must
have independent counsel. An attorney representing the child is not the same as
a guardian ad litem (GAL). As Katz
notes, “The difference between an attorney for the child and a GAL is… that the
attorney represents the child whereas the GAL represents the GAL’s opinion as
to the child’s best interests.”
Neither of these two legal requirements has been met
in Eve’s children’s case. Of course, it is an awkward case because of the
different relationships of the two children to their present caregivers. In the
case of the older boy, he is living with one biological parent, and the only
question about the situation is how his relationship with his birth mother is
to be handled. In the case of the younger boy, neither of the present
caregivers is biological kin, so the roles of both of them, in addition to the
connection with the birth mother, require legal examination.
Eve and her children need legal counsel, but they
appear to be captives of the Attachment Therapy belief system as it has taken
over a county’s practices. They will not get the counsel they are entitled to
from the county, nor will they get any explanations or opportunities to deal with
accusations. I have suggested that Eve
contact the American Civil Liberties Union for help in a situation where government
is interfering with citizens’ rights.