tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2743746633913926150.post5068476280552009357..comments2024-03-12T07:00:44.143-04:00Comments on CHILDMYTHS: Adoption Risk Factors and "Strong Idealization of Motherhood"Jean Mercerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14619393019771381980noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2743746633913926150.post-26518489491249138382011-12-04T16:15:16.826-05:002011-12-04T16:15:16.826-05:00Thanks for the comments, Campbell-- I do think it...Thanks for the comments, Campbell-- I do think it's critical to realize that just because biological factors CAN bring about an outcome, that doesn't mean that whenever it occurs it must have been caused by biological factors alone, or even that biological factors are necessarily involved. <br /><br />I'd also stress (in line with your comments) that it's not useful to try to decide whose fault a poor developmental outcome may be. If a child has cerebral palsy, would we be looking for ways to blame the parents for this condition? Would we be trying to blame the child and say that if she just pulled her socks up she wouldn't have CP? Well, I hope not-- and I would also hope that people would not try to assign blame for depression or conduct disorder or even fetal alcohol syndrome. Nothing is accomplished by blaming except to distract us from any real understanding of complex human events.Jean Mercerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14619393019771381980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2743746633913926150.post-42999572625333990372011-12-04T15:52:38.629-05:002011-12-04T15:52:38.629-05:00Jean, a "strong idealization of motherhood&qu...Jean, a "strong idealization of motherhood" or even an unrealistic idealization of motherhood is exactly what I think is huge cause for depression in parents, adoptive and biological! I don't believe ppd or pmd is all or always hormone driven which is why I too believe adoptive parents could suffer from depression therefore affecting children that they've adopted by having farfetched notions of what an "attached" child should behave like. <br /><br />Your critics would have people believe you're blaming the adopted child for adoptive parent depression, which any idiot would know you're not. Even when you say characteristics of the adopted child can also contribute, you're not saying it's the child's fault they have characteristics as a result of experiencing extreme deprivation or tumultuous early years. It's just the reality of the situation.<br /><br /> I find it really simple to see how everything could snowball out of control and how it could all be a direct result of unrealistic idealization of motherhood, from the beginning with the birth of the adopted child all the way into years after being adopted.<br /><br />The very people who argue against adoption are many times the ones who perpetuate mommy myths and present unrealistic descriptions of what all mothers should or do feel. It's too much pressure and the stigma surrounding not feeling 'it' as a mother inhibits women who are struggling and makes it far more attractive to blame their children instead of admit there may be something wrong with them.<br /><br />Hope this makes a bit of sense. Great post.Campbellhttp://campbellscoup.blogger.comnoreply@blogger.com